I'm not sure if it is my small town heritage, but when I first started passing them I would say hi. This was greeted with either a) awkward sideways glances, b) completely ignoring me or c) a vague smile that somehow conveyed, 'are you going to mug me?' I have not once got a "good morning" back, and subsequently I no longer try.
My favourite daily fellow commuter is a portly middle aged Englishman who looks increasingly stressed out as he walks towards me, he physically turns his head away from me, while looking towards to sky, so it is absolutely impossible to meet his eye..
I think it's important to note here that I'm not the mugging type, nor do I look like it. I also live in a relatively small English town, not a large crime filled city.
So why are we so afraid of talking to or even acknowledging each other? In large cities the close proximity to hundreds of people in the daily commute has created a culture where we treat each other like inanimate, potentially dangerous objects. Ignore and avoid eye contact at all costs. I often smile when I catch random commuters eyes or try to start conversations, such as "I like your ..." or "Where are you off to today?" The later is often greeted with the vague mugger smile..
I found this concept exceedingly difficult on the New York subway. Everyone seemed so interesting. I would smile or say hi, which would be greeted with a "what choo looking at?" or the universal mugger smile. My friend from New York advised that I was probably going to get mugged/beaten/abused if I didn't stop talking to strangers. I can't help it, they're just a friend I haven't met yet!
The only exception to the rule that is other people who are "not from here." (A well known phrase to any immigrant.) As a person also not from here, we seem to be able to connect about not being from here and other subjects such as where we are from and where we are going next.
As I'm sitting on public transport, staring at random strangers as though I'm going to mug them, I wonder how many of these people use social media, such as blogs like this, to send their personal private thoughts out into the ether. Why are we able to talk to random strangers and share our opinions through a keyboard, but not face-to-face?
Perhaps this video will shed some light on this...
http://youtu.be/tTN9We8unmU
Through social media we are able to share thoughts about everything without social prejudice or etiquette. There are lots of these type of videos out there, and they all illustrate the same point. Computers have an off button for a reason.
So when you next see a stranger and make eye contact, smile, say hello, acknowledge them for the person that they are, but remember ... it's not twitter, use the brain to mouth filter..
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