Relationship choices 1

After living in a small space with Adam for almost three months, I was starting to wonder if Schopenhauer was correct with his will-to-live theory.

Are we attracted to someone that genetically makes the best children, for the sake of the human race, despite whether it is possible to raise children or even cohabit with that person? Adam and I are very similar in regards to personality. We have the same sense of humour, the same bluntness, the same predisposition to being offended at offhand comments and unfortunately the same ability to often make offhand comments. (E.g. When I first read this part to Adam he took offence.) However, when you look objectively at us as humans, we are well suited to make children. We are both reasonably smart, athletic but also complement each other. He has a normal shaped nose to my crooked one, I have small ears to his big, I have good flexibility where he does not, he has good balance and coordination where I do not. The romantic dominates life because “what is decided is nothing less than the composition of the next generation, the existence and special constitution of the human race in times to come.” (De Botton quoting Schopenhauer ) I.e. People are attracted to other people that will make "normal" children.

There are a few things missing from this theory. If I am to assume that I am biologically attracted to Adam in order to ensure the sound composition of the next generation, then wouldn’t it make sense that if we haven’t had children yet, we are unable to and thus, our biological senses should be telling us to find another mate? What about those that do not wish to have children? What about homosexuals that physically cannot? We have evolved to give higher meaning to our relationships than biological urges and decided who to love, how to love and whether we want to have children.
Somewhere along the evolutionary line we developed conscious choice.

To me this is beauty of marriage. The choice that two people make individually to be committed to each other and to make it work, especially when living in cramped spaces or with high stress. It is the choice to say together, not because of biology or society, but because we want too.